Richard Lazarus said stress is not in the event. It is in two quick judgments. Primary appraisal asks, "Does this matter, and how big is it?" Secondary appraisal asks, "Do I have what it takes to handle it?" Set the demand on one side of the scale and your resources on the other. Watch the same event turn into a challenge or a threat.
Demand vs. resources
Left pan: how big the demand looks to you · Right pan: the resources you think you have.
How stressed you feel
calmfired upoverwhelmed
Two students, the same exam. Load each one to compare.
Set the scalemove the sliders to begin
Pick an event
Primary appraisal: does it matter?
Secondary appraisal: can I cope?
Same event, different stress. You can lower stress two ways. You can add resources, such as practice, rest, or a friend's help. Or you can change how you read the event, which is called reappraisal. Both are skills you can learn.